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[Blahx3]

I hadn't seen my cousin in a long time (about 5 years) and I always knew she was quite pretty when I was young. My family started seeing her's often and still do.

I feel like I'm falling for her. I know there's nothing wrong with it in Islam - you are allowed to marry cousins - but I don't wanna ruin the friendship we have.

[wafa]

Salam,

May you be in the best of health and iman.

It is permissible to marry your cousin as this is permitted in Islam. However, you clearly said that your intention is not to marry her so I advise you to stay away from her in fear that you may end up hurting yourself (in case she has no feelings for you) as well as in fear that you may commit a major sin (fornication).

However, if you wish to marry her then do this the halal way and approach her parents.

Inshallah I hope I helped.

[SFP]

I totally agree with Wafa.

All the best!

[faro0485]

I hadn't seen my cousin in a long time (about 5 years) and I always knew she was quite pretty when I was young. My family started seeing her's often and still do.

I feel like I'm falling for her. I know there's nothing wrong with it in Islam - you are allowed to marry cousins - but I don't wanna ruin the friendship we have.

There is no sin in marrying your cousin... but having a child from a cousin causes harm to any children.

Quran 2:195
And spend in the way of Allah and do not throw [yourselves] with your [own] hands into destruction [by refraining]. And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good.

http://www.islamfortoday.com/syed08.htm
http://corpus.quran.com/wordbyword.jsp? ... 2:195:1%29

Note that the only cousin the prophet married was an old woman of 40 years, by the name of Zaynab bint Jahsh, she had no children with the last prophet.

[erumandaamir]

Asalaamu alaikum,
Dear brothers and sisters

i agree again completely with brother wafa


asalam,
Aamir

[Sanya x]

Do wat u funk iz ryt deyrz no harm in lykin ur cousin x wish u da best of luk

[Abu Larakan]

Why do people get so worked up over things like this, seem to be seeing it a lot these days and always advise everyone the same. Try this:

Blahx3: Hi cousin, I am approaching marriage age and looking for potential rishtas, I've come to like you and wondered whether you ever thought of me in that way.

Cousin: No, sorry mate, thanks I am flattered.
or
Cousin: Wow thanks, erm yeh I am thinking of marriage too, erm okay lets discuss whether we will make a good couple and talk about our interests and views on life etc. Then if we both still interested, talk it through with families.


Everyone should just swallow their pride and deal with acceptance or rejection... respectfully and in accordance with islam, remembering true love will happen after marriage, hence, not getting too attached with worldly feelings and concepts of "love" and "dating". In fact you're trying to find a soul mate to spend the rest of your life with, so as long as you are both attracted to one another, keep all feelings of love out of it, or at least on hold until nikah, so you can both rationally decide whether you are suited to one another in the long term and not get carried away in infatuation or be blinded by love.


If she is a true friend but not interested in marriage, then she will acknowledge these are just natural feelings you are experiencing and respect you for being open and honest, it may be awkward at first and embarrasing but nothing friends can't overcome.

Islamically, you should just speak to her parents, then the parents speak to the girl and find out whether she is interested in you. This avoids the whole embarrassment of being turned down or the sadness fora girl turning someone down. As it's your cousin this is the best route for you to choose.

If it was a stranger, then that would be awkward just approaching her parents because you need to know more about them. Having seen how easily people call themselves Muslims today even if they are "not practising" but obviously they hide all their persuits from parents, I am much more skeptical of just speaking to parents.

Before their involvement if it's a complete stranger just be friends and try to see their real personality as much as possible, not one's that quickly hide behind deen when they reach marriage age and don't give fair reflection of their personality, because you are only deceiving yourself and husband/wife and parents will naturally either be ignorant of their child's behaviour or try to hide it because they hurt too if someone turn's their child down.

Soz for the rant lol, yeah so all brother/sisters be honest with each other, treat each other with respect, and may Allah (swt) bless you with the best suited other half.

[Shia13]

Assalamualaikum
It is ok to have a feeling for your cousin
.
but of course you didn't know her feelings right?
well, 2 choices :
- Sometimes you just gotta roll the dice and try.
or
- You just move on ~ easy